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My darling, little sister surprised me this week by writing another guest post for our blog.  I’ve been so swamped with school work lately that its been hard to find free time to write. I’m so grateful for her willingness to share in my absence.

How is it that the Lord knows exactly when to intervene in our lives?  He knows exactly when to jump in and save the day and He knows exactly how to save us from despair.  Until then, we often times are left to wait patiently and have faith that He knows exactly what He is doing.  However, these are often the times I doubt that He remembers me and I doubt that He is near or that He even cares about the trials I am facing.  Brothers and sisters, it is during these times that we must understand that He is simply testing our faith.  We face trials daily as a test to see where our focus is and who we are putting in control of our lives.  I choose Jesus!!

This past month I have been put to the ultimate test.  For a while now I have faced mental battles that I cannot even begin to explain.  I suffered from spurts of depression and often times felt lonely and completely helpless even in a crowded room of people.  It is now that I realize that this was simply because I wasn’t allowing myself to be completely filled with the Spirit, but instead I was letting Satan form these strongholds in my life and although I was crying for help, I felt like no one was listening.  I knew counseling was an option, but if you know anything about me I am a very stubborn person.  I wanted to figure this out on my own, but soon realized that it was next to impossible.

Psalm 142: 2-3, 5-6

“I pour out my complaint before him: before him I tell my trouble.  When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who knows my way….I say, ‘You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.’  Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need.”

Why cry out to the Lord?  I have discovered that literally getting on your knees and verbally crying out to the Lord is a freeing experience.  We do this so we can somehow reach a point of rest and experience a mind at peace.  Through these mental battles with the devil I often felt like I was completely helpless and getting absolutely nowhere no matter how many times I prayed for healing.  I desperately wanted these obsessive thoughts to end and to experience a free mind concerned about nothing but serving the Lord and spreading His Word, fulfilling my purpose here on earth.  However, Satan was throwing too many obstacles at me and I was growing very weary.  But I knew my only choice was to continually breakdown to the Lord and release everything on Him…then sit patiently and trust His timing and His perfect plan and put my faith in God alone.  This idea of “God alone” is something that I struggle with daily.  It is God alone that could heal me from this battle and mental torture that Satan was throwing at me.  Only through Him could I experience freedom.

I desperately wanted to live a life free from this burden and free from these thoughts that were tearing apart my mind and not only having an effect on me and my relationship with the Lord but also the relationships with my friends and family.  This was the last string…as I lay on my floor one night after an hour with the Lord I knew I had to just continue to pray daily and put my hope in Him to heal me completely.  Once again I want to express how incredible I think it is that God shows himself to be present in our lives in all kinds of ways: through people, through events and opportunities.

As I sat in church on Sunday recently, the pastor was giving a sermon on 1 Peter and he made it very clear that trials and suffering is part of being a Christian.  When we accepted God into our lives he did not promise a painless, effortless or easy walk with Him.  He made it clear that we would definitely be faced with trials, but promised that He would equip us with Holy armor and teach us how to handle our suffering.  He promised to never leave our side and to protect us from our enemies.  The pastor taught that in times of trial we must write it down, refrain from asking why but instead ask what…ask the Lord what He is trying to teach us through these hard times…ask the Lord what good can come of this.  The purpose of this sermon was to teach that as Christians we are not to fixate our thoughts on the immediate things of this world and the daily things that we are faced with, but rather give these struggles to the Lord and fixate our minds on Jesus Christ and the resurrection to come…our eternal, beautiful life with Him.  Rest assured, brothers and sisters, that we know the end result of our life here on earth…we KNOW what happens at the end of the road…we do not have to sit and wonder where we will be when all is said and done.  Jesus Christ promises to return and all who are His followers will be invited to join His Kingdom eternally!!

Overall, I’m not completely cured.  Satan still finds ways to mentally attack me and make me feel weak.  However, these times of trial are good reminders of exactly who I am and in whom my hope and faith is rested upon!  These times remind me that I am a bold, strong and courageous woman of God and I am ready to fight the good fight!

2 Timothy 1:7

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline”.

I got a phone call today from a dear, dear friend of mine.  She was diagnosed with cancer a little over 2 years ago and had her tumor markers yesterday in Omaha, NE.  The doctors reported that they had found new growth and that she will be going in for surgery next week to have them removed and to determine what the next steps will be

The reason I bring this up is because when I hung up the phone, I was thinking about God’s ability to heal us.  In Exodus 15:26 the Lord is called Jehovah Rapha, the Healer.  Psalm 103:3 says he forgives all our sins and heals all our diseases.  1 Peter 2:24 echos the words of Isaiah 53:5 saying that by His stripes we are healed.  Matthew 9:35 says that Jesus himself went about preaching the gospel and healing all kinds of sickness and disease.

Satan is the author of sickness and disease.  The Bible tells us we must take authority over Satan to be healed.  In Luke 10:19, Jesus gives us that authority, that we may speak in His name and receive healing.  It is not our strength alone that releases this authority.  It is through the name of Jesus.  Peter demonstrates this in Acts 3 as he speaks healing over a lame man at the temple gate.  Invoking the power of the name of Jesus, the man is able to walk.

I often succumb to the lie that God doesn’t have the time to heal me… or that I need to wait it out.  Maybe I’m beyond healing…miracles are for other, more righteous people.  This, my friend, is a lie.  Jesus paid the price so that every single one of us might be healed.  Thinking otherwise is an insult to God and His power.

If you or anyone you know is suffering in any way, please take authority over satan in the name of Jesus and claim what is rightfully yours as a beloved child of God.  He is Jehovah Rapha, our Healer.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGv5d8EE34k]

So incredibly moving.  I love the powerful simplicity of these lyrics.  Worship with me, friends.

I’ve wanted to write about my grandpa for a long time, but whenever I think about it, I realize words really cannot capture who he was as a person and who he was to me.  It’s a feat I’m afraid I’m not quite up to yet.  But regardless of my shortcomings, in honor of what would have been his 88th birthday, I decided to share with you a video our family put together for his memorial service a few years ago.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NXaLMPcQZQ]

While days like this still make my heart ache, I am so comforted to know we will be reunited someday in the presence of our Savior.  Thank you, Jesus.

Denial

I smile…on the outside

But inside, I know

My soul …Is black

Filled with guilt

It’s my fault

They haven’t heard

A word …of truth

I follow the world

Every boy and girl

Wrapped up in themselves

Have become my role model

Jealousy

Why can’t I be… like them?

Condemnation

My reputation

On the line

I claim I’m fine

…But I’m not

I want to fit in

I sin

Betraying Him

The one who made me

Who I am

Anger

Frustration

Self-mutilation

My mind’s medication

…But it’s all temporary

I lack satisfaction

Worshiping this god, my creation

But no true relationship

Emptiness

A dark abyss

…My heart sinks

What’s the meaning of this life?

Trapped in confusion

Thoughts swirling in disillusion

MAKE IT STOP!

This war I wage in utter seclusion

I’ve hit rock bottom

My soul cries in pain

I know I must change

If I want to be more than this mess I have made

…Help!

Myself I disown

I can’t do it alone

I cry out to God

Please, make me Your own

Stillness

Peace floods my being

Christ redeeming … my past

…It’s all gone

My failures …distant memories

Thrown in the Sea…Of Forgetfulness

I am blessed…beyond words

And still, I wonder

How could this be?

It seems too easy

One minute I’m a slave

The next I’m redeemed?

Innocent blood

The currency that purchased my salvation

Torture, anguish and utter humiliation

He endured it all

For me

That was my penalty

But now here I stand

Completely free!

Hello, friends.  It’s been a while since I’ve written anything personally and although today won’t be a long post as I have lots of homework to do, I wanted to share something that’s been on my heart.  It’s this idea that there is tremendous therapy through art and creativity.  I know from my own experiences that it is often through various artistic outlets (creative writing, painting, dancing, photography, music, etc.) that I am able to discover healing.  Now when I say that, please understand I am not trying to take God out of the equation.  My creative expression is focused on truths found in scripture; it’s as if the Holy Spirit flows through me more freely when my innermost thoughts are expressed creatively. I have come to find that it is through these outlets that I’m able to communicate with my Savior the things so deeply ingrained in my soul that words alone do not prove just.  Some things are just beyond speech.

I often find inspiration through similar creative works from others.  Recently, I’ve found incredible comfort in the beautiful simplicity of music.  I love the raw, passionate lyrics and the harmonious melodies of so many of these artists.  They are so real, so transparent.  My heart finds peace knowing others feel what I feel and that in the midst of life’s circumstances, Jesus is always waiting with open arms.

I’ve created a playlist with many of these recently inspiring songs.  I hope you too find deep comfort in the beauty they hold.

We have another guest post today.  I’m so excited to share this one with you guys.  This is from none other than my baby sister, Brittany.  Over the last several years, I have poured my heart into her, hoping she’d allow God to mold her into the woman He wants her to be.  I’ve seen a tremendous change in her as she’s allowed Him to take control and I couldn’t be more proud or more honored to call her sister.  Thank you, Jesus for transforming her life into such an amazing testimony.  You are so good.

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Love never fails (1 Corinthians 14:8).  How many of us actually believe that?  I know I struggle to.  Past relationships of mine have shattered my hopes of ever finding a perfect, unfailing love.  However, they have also made me realize that His love is the only truly satisfying, unfailing and perfect love.  God’s love will never fail us no matter what we do to him.  He will never turn His back on us, never reject us and He will never disrespect us.  God’s love is unconditional and so fulfilling.

Is it wrong that I want a man to think I’m the most beautiful girl in the world?  Am I out of line when I say I desire to feel irreplaceable, wanted, needed and desired by a man?  Is it selfish of me to want a man to see me as the most important thing in his life (aside from God of course)?  The answer, my dear, is no!  Call me selfish and conceded, but God put these desires in my heart for a reason.  God desires these things for us just as much as he desires to feel these things from us.  We serve a jealous God…a God who desires our full attention…a God who desires our whole heart and who wants to feel irreplaceable, to be romanced and desired by us.

One night as I listened to my friend continuously complain about how he was being treated by a girl, I realized just how great God’s love is for us.  My friend was feeling so defeated because he said no matter how much he loved this girl and no matter what he did for her, she rejected him, but he continued to fight for her despite how she made him feel.  As unhealthy as this relationship sounds it’s exactly how many of our relationships with the Lord work.  He fights for us and loves us even though we may turn away from Him and reject Him daily.  God will never quit pouring His love on us…His love endures forever (1 Chronicles 16:34).

Our God is so good and He calls us to share His love with others.  Brothers and sisters, do not feel defeated when someone you deeply love and care for rejects you.  Trust God’s plan; it is perfect.  God is so faithful and you must believe that He wants nothing but for you to be completely filled and happy with your life.  He’s never going to leave you so fight the good fight…believe and be satisfied in His love for you.

Brittany

Today I wanted to share with you a post written by a very special person in my life, Jeanne Kaufman.  Please take a moment to read the truths she has highlighted from scripture.  You will be blessed not only by her mini-testimonies, but also (and more importantly) by the incredible promises from God.

{Comforting Truth – The Lord is Near}

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Have you ever felt so sad, so devastated, so disappointed that you’ve literally lost your energy to do anything? The things you used to enjoy don’t matter anymore and you wonder if you will ever feel ‘normal’ again?

{Comforting Truth – Strength From God}

Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

There are times in life when we suffer from a broken heart and the pain is there dominating every second of the day. It may be due to a broken relationship, something you hoped for is gone, or the loss of someone who was precious to you.

I have been there before, broken, weak, sad and lonely. I know the pain of people walking out of my life, people I loved who I thought would always be there for me. It could be that your heart feels like it is breaking when someone you love is in pain and you want to fix it in the worst way, but you feel helpless.

{Comforting Truth – Jesus is Your Rock}

Psalm 18:2

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

One thing I am continually reminded of is that we are triune beings: we are spirit, we have a soul, and we live in a body. The arena of our soul includes our emotions, our will and our mind. Jesus said, “I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you”. This awareness of my soul being made whole by Jesus, along with my spirit and my body has brought great strength time and time again. Paul said in the New Testament, “when I am weak, then am I strong”. I have come to realize in the 40 years of my relationship with Jesus, that its OK for me to feel weak. When I feel weak within myself, I rely totally on Jesus power and on His strength. The Word that Paul scripted is then fulfilled and I become strong. The book of Daniel tells us that the people who know God ARE strong and do exploits. I can do nothing on my own without Jesus love, strength and power.

{Comforting Truth – Faith Sees the Answer}

2 Corinthians 5:7

For we walk by faith, not by sight.

Years ago when our 6 year old daughter was diagnosed with an incurable muscle-skin disease, my heart broke. For 12 years we purposed to focus on what Jesus said, rather than our circumstances, rather than her pain, rather than our discouragement. We made a decision to put God’s Word above every other report we received.

{Comforting Truth – Rest}

Matthew 11:38

Come to Me, all who are weary, and exhausted and I will give you rest.

Not everyone’s story ends happy like ours did with our daughter being healed, but we thank Jesus for His Word and we know we serve a kind and a loving God whose plan is to heal broken bodies, broken hearts and hopeless spirits.

{Comforting Truth – Stay in Peace}

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I GIVE to you. Its not like the world gives, so don’t allow your heart to be troubled and plan on purpose not to be afraid.

It is imperative that we live in the truth and the knowledge that we can do all things, but it is only through Jesus Christ, the One who strengthens and empowers. When we are broken, needy and desperate for Jesus we can call on Him for help. Here we are engrafted into His life-line and revived, encouraged and healed.

{Comforting Truth – Trust Jesus}

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and don’t try to figure everything out. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

I know how it feels to be overwhelmed with a sense of lack when my broken heart has needed mending and you feel like it’s hard to get your next breath. Jesus is faithful when we feel faithless and He is able to use broken people when we turn to Him. One of the meanings of healing literally means to stitch us up and Jesus does this with our broken, wounded and disappointed hearts.

{Comforting Truth – Don’t Carry Your Problems}

1 Peter 5:7

Cast all your anxieties on Jesus, because He cares for you.

My encouragement is to stay in faith and practice keeping your focus on the Promise, not the problem. When Jesus makes us whole and we allow His compassion to fill our hearts, we can be loving, forgiving and kind to others. We can help heal others pain. He takes the broken pieces of our heart and touches us with His glory. He caresses us in billows of love and tenderly speaks “Shalom” into our wounds, whispering ‘there is nothing broken precious one, there is nothing missing, you are well, you are whole, you are complete in Me.’ We are then able to look for the best in others because we are at peace. We are keenly aware of our own weakness without Jesus and we learn to rest our entire being on His breast and be nurtured minute by minute in His Presence. We can breathe again, we can live, we can love because we have received ‘the Touch’ that makes us whole.

{Comforting Truth – Cheer Up}

John 16:33

I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace, in the world there will be trouble, but cheer up (take heart) I have overcome the world.

This post was written by Jeanne Kaufman of Holy Life Tabernacle in Brookings, SD.  For more from Holy Life, check out www.HolyLifeTabernacle.com or subscribe to their 3 podcasts on iTunes.